Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Love/Hate~Rethinking MY Thinking

I'm a daughter, wife, mom, friend, pastor's wife...teacher..artist...blogger..uh...well, the list goes on to include past professions and future ambitions, but...WHAT in the world am I thinking about LIFE?  Am I squandering it away sitting in my chair typing on this keyboard and concerning myself with things that really don't matter while LIFE is moving~active~NOT PASSIVE~but going and doing all around me? I have a love relationship with my computer and have had since about three years ago when I got MY OWN laptop~I'm on #2, (don't hate me...LOL) but WHAT have I allowed this box to steal from me and more importantly MY FAMILY? 

I adore my children and my husband. They are the MOST important ppl in my life~but when I have neglected them for the life of escape of reality in this world~whether it was crafting or some other EVEN WORTHY cause, I have left them to move into another realm. Yes, they are all capable of getting along without me for a season or time, but is THIS the use for which I have been created and the PURPOSE to which I need to focus my resources? I THINK NOT.

In fact, I am rethinking my methods and my goals. So much has gone on these past few months. First, we totally rerouted out schooling methods from a mommy based education where I educated them to an online public school done in the convenience of our home~we have remodeled space in our home to acomodate this change AND then all the changes I've personally done to work on my health~AND I FEEL better than I have in years! Sooooo now, it's time to ACT~to jump out of this chair and GO~LIVE~L I F E!  This chair and this cyberspace world IS NOT LIFE for me. I need activity and while I am so thankful for my readers and those of you who share my passions and interests, I must say that it all has to be put into perspective! PERSPECTIVE! PRIORITY~And I'm not overly OVERLY concerned with bloggy numbers, but let me CONFESS a twinge of pain when I read that so and so gets this recognition~so and so is TOP WHATEVER MOMMY BLOGGY PERSON...b/c FRANKLY this blog~this realm of life comes at too high a cost for so little (please understand) LITTLE return in the THINGS that MATTER! Things like my family and faith...MY BLOG is ONLY a tool..ONLY...and you know, it's NOT even MY JOB. For some it is~but by cracky if THIS IS MY JOB then where oh WHERE is the MONEY? Let me tell you, there are some busting down some bucks who do this, but I'm either NOT good enough OR God has other plans for me b/c either way~I tired of padding other people's purses, and so I do not measure up! NO, I DO NOT! Sooooo WHY am I still visiting blogs and participating in stuff that brings me very little? Is it that I AM THAT generous? Maybe. Maybe, I am. But what WHATwhat are my goals with my blog? AND WHAT PRIORITY should this little spot of cyberspace hold for me and my LIFE???

I'm really rethinking my thinking, and you know...I am believing that CHANGES are coming...stay tuned and we shall see...Right now, I'm gonna jump off here and go hunt down my dusting rag (...LOL...not exactly exciting is it?) and get going...Thanks for reading and offer up a few prayers that God will show me His divine will for my life INCLUDING my blog.


Marie said...

You've just answered alot of questions I've asked myself time and time again. I see all these people that seem to blog/surf the web/hang out on message boards/facebook etc and I wonder...when do they homeschool?
I don't want to fall into that trap (if I'm not already in it). I know, for me, there have be times that I've left my children watching TV and spent way more time online than I initially intended.

I like your honesty and I say "good for you." Make those changes that are right for you and your family!

Lorus! said...

Where have I heard all of this before??? Oh yeah, in my mind! This is exactly the thoughts I have had lately and been discussing with my hubby and kids! I've definitely stepped back lately. Haven't blogged anything other than a required review in more than 2 weeks in fact. I'll be praying for you and I'd love it if you'd pray for me! I never meant to be absent from my family because of a silly computer!!!

Stacie said...

Sister Tipster,

Many of your thoughts have crossed my own mind. I think you are wise to ask God for wisdom, because He will give it freely. I also think you are wise to make your family and your faith a priority. Life is about a dedication to what is truly important and everything else falling in line after that. My mom always said, even too much of a good thing can be bad. I'll be praying for you. . .please pray for me, too.