Monday, March 7, 2011

Blog Cruise: SisterT's Talking About Teaching the Wiggly-Squirmy KID!

I'm part of The Old Schoolhouse Crew review team and each week we are answering a question to offer some collective wisdom on homeschooling and parenting/motherhood/family:  The question this week is: How do you teach the hyper/distracted child?  Boy, can I write the book on this one!  With two ADHD kiddos~let's just say that T I (double GUH) UR...has nothing on us for bouncy-bounce!  Let me explain~

My littles who are now, not so little~were once so wild and impetuous that we did some stuff to keep them safe that seems a little odd to some mothers who don't deal in hyper and compulsive behaviors.  When our daughters was just two, her temper was so firey that she flipped her toddler bed in temper, so we bolted it to the ground...she also took off toward to highway faster than the speed of lightening, and thank God a man caught her before she got into the street!  When I tried and believe me, we only went a few times, to the mall, I used a double stroller~well, I had to use the wrist leashes for them and connect them with tethers to the side of the stroller so they wouldn't run off before I could get them back in it~before one OR the other ran off..this way~they didn't get too far...before I could put them back...I used to walk down the isles of stores saying "" because of CONSTANT incessant nonsensical CHATTER! Let me see...I've dealt in a little fella who learned best jumping up and down~moving as we SUNG our vowl sounds so we'd learn to read!  We would RUN outside frequently up and down the driveway which was off the road a little bit when we were old to get our wiggles to calm down, AND I also used as much hands on~multi sensory stuff as I could...ARE YOU tired yet, from reading what I WENT THROUGH?? LOL...It wears me out just thinking about HOW HARD it was back was truly awful! And I remember clasping my hands in prayer crying out to God to HELP US! My little daughter went to public K and the whole year she was upset by being 'fussed' at and felt her teacher disliked her...this was prior to meds~which BELIEVE ME I resisted for soooo fact, it wasn't until after my son took off running as a 4 year old down the street even with me going after him and calling him back...well, I even applied the the seat of knowledge~ TO NO AVAIL...I used charts and all manner of things to reign us in...I simplified our home with a less is MORE and even tried to keep our lives simple by staying home with a routine and structure while even spending beautiful days in the park which was next to the county library where we fostered a love of books~I'm SURE in those early days they HATED to see our noise and energy come through the door...

But dear friends, let me share that it took time and patience...and neither has come cheaply, for my kids to have learned just HOW to function and listen to their frames to be able to have some control.  My son STILL wiggles and is EVERYWHERE...alllllll the time! I am constantly reminding this 15 year old, "Son, sit down and get your work done!" To which he will reply, "I AM!" Well, it's hard for me to tell as he's sprinting across the room...albeit with his laptop in hand or a book or paper...but...but...LOL!

Sooo if you are dealing with the wiggly-squirmy kiddo~love, patience, structure, less stimulation that is purposeful, low sugar foods~loads of fresh/healthy raw fruits and veggies and virtually NO concentrated sweets/sugars or dies or chemicals, and PRAYER! A visit to the MD for suggestions~even therapy may be helpful to learn coping strategy and be sure to attack the problem while loving~DEEPLY loving your child.  I really have worried AND STILL DO that I don't communicate all the love I feel for my children. Remember a ADHD kiddo is really like a person with a brain who has a light switch that keeps cutting it ON then OFF...and on and on...imagine the frustration your child may feel if he/she only heard about every 3rd word you said and then caught your frustration and anger? NO, it's not.  NOT for them or you...sooo education is key here too...and SisterT stands on this as well~that finding proper help is essential.  I've run the course on all kinds of therapies for my children because whether it was behavior related or purely physical alone, help was needed.  To deny a child the possible help is criminal in my humble opinion.  The statistics are out there that a hyperactive child IS at greater risk for all kinds of life issues...WHO wants that?

I prayed a lot too. In the face of negative~deeply negative advice and opinion, I forged ON to find help for my children...I read the conservative parenting opinions that say essentially to use physical punishment and reward..oh MY! Yes, I read it~began and then moved away, because it DID NOT help created resentment and anger in my babies..NOT the desired effects...sooo if you believe a good whipping will do the trick~talk to some adults who were brought up that way...WHAT do they say about the love in their home when as a child?  Of course not all~maybe you had your tail cut as a kid...I did...but boy, I remember HATING my mother too...maybe I'm weird... but I didn't want to RISK such negative emotions being built in them BY MY, I didn't.

Sooo for the wiggly squirmer~LOVE and acceptance and look at HELP along with the things you CAN do...

  • Declutter the surroundings.
  • Decrease loud television programing and music.
  • Provide quiet and peace as much as possible.
  • LOVE a lot! HUG HUG HUG and praise the good...
  • I gave mine some silly puddy to play with in church to keep their hands still when gradeschool. When tiny, my son carried match box cars in his pockets...coloring books and puzzles (can be Bible centered...busy hands help the mind listen better and feet still as bottom sits!)
  • We modeled table manners and sitting behaviors daily at home so in social situations it was a natural. We ATE at the table with proper manners!
  • I read to them even holding them still in my arms when so little they wanted to RUN...then had them hold the books as they got older.
  • Toys on a book case verses the clutter of a toy box so it wouldn't overwhelm!
  • Calming colors~less clutter~
  • Foods~(already mentioned this.)
  • Lots of outside play~safe in a contained area or with boundaries~I was very WATCHFUL...
  • Took occasional breaks with a trusted family member for hub and I to regroup: GRANDMA!
  • Held their hands when crossing the street or busy areas...did this for a long time and maybe longer than some kids who will naturally follow and even PURPOSEFULLY taught walking WITH a skill...
  • Proper medical attention if needed...

Thanks for hearing our story and if are interested in reading how the rest of us deal or dealt~Go            !
Leave me a comment~HUGS!


Jill said...

Wonderful post! I laughed out loud about your daughter throwing her bed at two because my daughter did the same thing! I once tried a door knob thing so she couldn't open the door and I could contain her in her room; she ripped it off in three minutes flat. Thanks for writing about the conservative parenting opinions, I tried that as well and came up with the same conclusions you did. Great tips at the end also.

Vickie said...

Well, looks like in all that you've kept your sense of humor and ya know, I think that is important too :)