It was failing to work. Really. In fact, it was becoming more and more work, and I was beginning to wonder IF we were gonna make it. Seriously wonder IF my kids were going to graduate high school b/c they were struggling, and so was I. But WHAT to do? Quit? Take time off? Go at it harder? CHANGE? Revamp? Options loomed in my head for days, weeks...and all the while I was hearing that inner voice say that I have to act and do something BIG. I'm not one for change, much. Sister really doesn't like that word because it usually puts me in a mindset if not in a complete state of being uncomfortable for a while, at least...BUT change that will come as a matter of revamping is perhaps just what we need~NEED. I do not believe this coming change is a WANT, but a true and definite need.
Worry can take on a life of it's own that can reek havoc with the mind, body and spirit. Oh this is no fun! I just had to make some decisions NOW before it was 'too late!' Sooo I began some research. I began with TRUTH~I knew that our current methods of homeschooling were taking us down a path that was at the very least, stressful. STRESS-FILLED would be a better word~so in looking for truth, again I needed to HEAR my children. What were their long-term goals and dreams? Where are THEY PLANNING to go in life? These are no longer 'little people' who Mama has to guide, protect and shield~They're like race horses chomping at the gate of life and AM I THE GATE holding them in? Some self examination reveals that I am fearful for them~like most any Mom is this day and time, but I am even more willing to be there for them as they navigate new and strange waters~and why not NOW? Navigating newness while they have support is much better than when they are out on their own with so much to push through and adapt to~
Sooo in that research, I came to believe that because my daughter particularly is so worried and consumed, really with negative thoughts concerning being homeschooled, I needed to look deeper. I WELL remember the age of 16 and how actually MATURE this age is above the other stages in growth~so I want to listen closely and HEAR just what she is saying to me. Do I stop homeschooling altogether and put them in public or private school or what? HOW can I help her with her nagging fears of inadequacy? Her particular goals are VERY high, so I want to make sure they are a place we can head in the next phase, that we adequately planned and plodded to accomplish what we need to now, so that those dreams of a bright future are a reality...but how?
SisterT is working on some dual/virtual schooling for them~that will ultimately provide high school diplomas just as real as if they attended a public or private school FOR THEM~in fact, I can deny it all day long, but unless they go right into university or community college after homeschooling, their homeschool diploma that I might issue may not be as credible (in some circles) as one that is 'recognized.' Jobs are hard to get right now in our economy, and I know that no employer with a choice over so many is going to necessarily look at all the pluses in a kiddo who well~call it a nagging fear, but I believe I am hearing the voice of the Lord~yeah, it's radical. AND in the past, I was well satisfied that I am doing what is needful~but WHY do I have this nagging voice? Is it evil or the Lord? Well, in restructuring some of what we are doing, it will provide for all the goals and dreams~AND satisfies the recurring voice, but MOST IMPORTANT~my child will find herself...himself...in this experience? I hope so~I'm still HERE~we're still homeschooling, but it is taking on a new dimension~we are going to operate more like a traditional classroom so that there is some confidence built~
I have really worried that somehow these changes were not going to be all positive~but I am giving them to the Lord as we believe we are following His will for our lives~it's a learning curve for sure!
In this new adventure, we needed desktop space~hence a room redo~oh my! It's not that the room didn't need this done, but just a matter of timing~oh that precious element in life~TIME!
Here are some pics of what we began with and where we're going~oh it's been a nasty mess...but remember we live in a repo'd ole house that was inhabitable that we're rehabing~HOPING to paint by next wkend~
The first four are befores and the rest are the process~
Sooo, HOW are you doing this cold blustery January? Hanging? Revampn'??