Saturday, August 13, 2011


Well, since I last posted, I've been worried about my eating plan. Worried that I've eaten too much overall.  I have the kinds of foods down pat~I don't eat a lot of things, but more important I eat really good things overall, but my concern was portions. I'm a FOOD ADDICT! Wish I could candy coat it, but I can't.  I laugh these days and say that "I got fat eating celery; I'm such a food addict!" Well, in fact, we all know celery won't make a person fat, but large portions will...and so it's my story.  I've eaten way way too much for way way too long...and in my process/progress, I've been cutting down as well as changing up the kinds of foods I consume.  Today I am really eating less than I was a year ago, but I'm not where I believe I will need to be to become the healthy woman I hope is in my future.  HOPE...oh yes, that wonderful word of life...HOPE thou in God...yes, I can hope in Him!  I'm thankful...

And having just this morning done a weigh in, I'm at my lowest body weight in nearly 20 years!! Praise God! AND the crazy thing is how I worried that I was not releasing my weight but somehow overeating~I guess my capacity for volume has decreased b/c I feel sooo stuffed sometimes.  I will be addressing this~AM addressing this! And this must be a new leg of my journey~less IS definitely more!

Sooo my totals are now down 83#s since April 2010...totaling 147 since this mo 8 yrs ago! Praise the Lord!  I am so blessed and feel very thankful. I'm FIVE pants sizes down...

But...THIS IS NOT my life's focus~if you can understand that...I'm still a wife and MOM...I do other things besides obsess over my body or the fat I carry.  THIS IS just my shell, for goodness sakes, right??  Okay, soo with this said, I don't weigh frequently, but generally just when I have doctor appointments.  I leave the numbers to them and with them~MOSTLY...except when I worry!  But let me say, that climbing on that scale this morning was something done out of resolve to know TRUTH...that scale, while it's definitely NOT the measure of my success~it's an indicator of my total program...For me: wt releasing at about 1-2#s a week is where I want to go...ANY FASTER~I GET CRAZY!! And a big fat crazy woman is not sane! I FEEL all kinds of deprevation and hunger when I don't eat enough that I lose faster than this and soooo b/c of all that emotion I EAT AND EAT AND EAT...OR QUIT! NO GOOD! I can't go that way...First, it's unhealthy for my mind, but also I end up eating and gaining wt in the end...NO GOOD!  Soo here I am plugging along with a long term solution~slow and steady...turtle speed, anybody?? Oh yes, I'd like to be a gorgeous DIVA T O M O R R OW! Who wouldn't wanna be THAT? But the life lessons are so valuable in untying these knots...gotta be...NO INSTANT FIX for me....My brother died after WLS...I see that it would never fix my mind/soul issues.  I need to know that it's not just my body that's corrected, b/c if it is just my body, it seems that the compulsion to EAT would not be dealt with adequately.  I need more.  Anybody out there like me?? I fear I'm not alone.  In this I seek support~but I know ultimately what I eat and HOW MUCH is my affair and nobody else.  But how much sweeter this journey having you go along with me...soo come on! Let's get going toward greater health benefits!

I've been food preserving these past two weeks.  WHAT A BOON! I love canning! Sat a week ago we were blessed to have come across what I call, THE DEAL OF THE DAY! And what a deal~a huge pressure canner complete for $5!  I can preserve meats now..and even green beans! WHAT A BLESSING!

But so far my canning has been dill pickles, sweet (splenda) pickle relish, pepper jelly (splenda) AND zucchini jam! WHOOHOO! I'm waiting on my tomatoes to come in~praying that they's been a horrible summer for lack of rain and the incredible heat!  This morning after the harvesting, I have some work to do again~looks like more jam and maybe dill pickles~ooowwwweee! YUM!

It's my prayer that we all continue on the road to health and happiness in this coming week~how are you progressing? I'm still waiting on the doc's approval for exercise~I know it's coming..coming...coming...Let me know you were here! ;-))

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